My Journey Begins - May 16, 2012

I've never been "thin".  But I never thought I was obese.  I was wrong...

For years I worked jobs that required me to be on my feet all day long and I maintained my weight.  Then 15 years ago I decided to go to school to get a "desk job".  I've been a paralegal for 13 years and I love my job.  But it is a very inactive profession.  Don't get me wrong.  I exercise my brain all day long.  My body, not so much.  So over the past 13-15 years, as I've increased my legal knowledge, I have also increased my BMI.

I've never been defined by my weight or how I looked.  I'm defined by who I am, Who I believe in, my family and my work.  But guess what?  When you abuse your body and pile the pounds on, it rebels.  And mine has started.  My knees hurt.  My feet hurt.  I'm short of breath.  I'm inactive and tired all the time.  And the worst part....when I think of doing an activity with my family - amusement park, trip, sight-seeing, car trip, airplane ride, hike or any type of physical activity, my first thoughts are.....do they have a weight limit, will I fit and can I stand the physical activity?  Not very good thoughts when you are only 39 years old.

I never thought I ate all the time.  But I did know that I ate the wrong things and that I was very inactive.  So what to do?  Join Weight Watchers again?  Restrict myself?  Find a diet buddy?  Wire my jaws shut?  Give up?  Trust me.  You think it all.  You wonder how in the world you got to 354.2 pounds and didn't stop the train!!!!

So I decided to go see Dr. McKewen and hear about LapBand surgery.  Now I know that gastric restriction surgeries are controversial at best.  Some people are all for it and some people are hugely against it.  Well, all I want to say is, this has to be a personal decision.  And if you know someone who has reached the point that they are looking at this option, you shouldn't be a nay-sayer.  Trust me, they will hear ALL the pros AND cons.  And trust me, your overweight friend has been wrestling with this for a while.  This is NOT the "easy way out".  This is their LIFE we are talking about. And the option to extend and better that life.  I personally have an 8 year old daughter and she is MY WORLD.  However, if I continue to live this life getting heavier and heavier; or even if I continue to live at 354.2 lbs, I most likely will not be here to shop for her wedding dress.  I won't get to see her children born and I definitely won't be here to support her as she lives her life in this crazy world.  And I want to be here.  For her.  For me.  For the people who love me and the people who will in the future.

I hate surgery.  But I'm pretty sure that death is much less appealing (right now anyway).  But I'm going to this informational meeting and I'm keeping an open mind.

This surgery appeals to me because it is fairly less-invasive than other surgeries.  They go in laparoscopically and insert a soft inflatable collar around the top portion of your stomach to create a funnel affect.  It makes you feel fuller with less food, increases the digestive process and slows the movement of the food through your system.  So, no more inhaling food and waiting for it to hit the bottom of your stomach.  They adjust the collar with saline through a port inserted into your abdominal wall and accessed by a syringe.  And it is removable - if you reach a point in your life where you would rather not have it.

I like what I'm hearing.  It sounds like a doable option for me and my life and I've convinced myself that I can withstand the surgery.  So I make an appointment to see Dr. McKewen to discuss the options and insurance and we'll go from there.  And I take my official BEFORE pictures.  Wow, is that really me????

Battered But Not Broken

My baby girl has mastered ;-) the art of riding a two-wheeler!

Over the Memorial Day weekend she got a lot of practice with her friends from the neighborhood.

How cute is my "Little Sparkler"?

Apparently this is what happens when you "aren't really good at turns yet" mamma...

Owwww.

But that didn't slow her down a bit.  And neither did this...

The backsides look worse.

But alas, it will not spot the two-wheeled bandit!  She's off to the races!

Happy Summer Everyone.  It has begun!!!

Beacon In the "Night"

Is there anything you miss when you've been away from home for a long time?  Any "creature comforts" that you took for granted and now wish you could have?  Old "haunts" that you wish you could walk back into?  

Well, I've been away from HOME for nine months now.  NINE long months.  And I missed something that I never thought I would miss because I always thought it would be there....

That's right baby, SONIC!!!!!

You see, in my part of Indiana (Central) there are NO SONICS!  I know!  Sacrilege.  At first, I didn't think anything about it.  I thought there had to be one somewhere.  But alas, no Sonic in Carmel, IN or Fishers or Noblesville or Zionsville.....  I could go on for a while here, but you get the picture.  No Sonic.

Then yesterday in South Central Indiana (after the death hike in Clifty Falls State Park), we stumbled upon this Beacon in the "Night" (or day).  I was so excited.  I couldn't believe that after NINE months, I was going to be able to buy a Large Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper with that wonderful iconic "Sonic Ice".  You know what I'm talking about.  That ice that is chewable but seems to last all day.

Oh yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about!  Ahhhhh...

And to make it even better...IT WAS HAPPY HOUR!!!!!!!!!!!!  

[Not] A Walk In the Park

Earlier this week I decided that we needed to "get out and explore" this great new State that we are living in.  So, I grabbed my Travel Indiana guide and started reading.  South Central Indiana seemed like the place to start.  At a nifty little destination called Clifty Falls State Park in Madison, IN.

I thought that we would go hiking and have a picnic.  To enjoy the gorgeous scenery and take in mother nature on this 74 degree day.

How pretty is that?

The hike started really well.  Paved paths and gentle slopes.  My 38 yr. old body though...this might not be so bad.

Then we saw this...

WHAT??!!

So I drug myself up these steps thinking "hmmm, maybe not horrible".  Then we saw this...

Maybe this wasn't a good idea after all.  Can we turn back?

Needless to say the HIKE took on new meaning for me at this point.  We encountered uneven ground.  Mud.  Rocks.  Steep inclines.  Lots of shade.  Beautiful weather.  Nice people.  Mud.  Rocks.  Steep inclines.  Lots of steps.  Did I mention steep inclines?  Tia was ready to go and ran ahead most of the way.  Wish I had her energy.  

The best hiking partner in the world...because she waits on me :)

This was back at the easy part...remember...

when I thought I was going to be okay...

We ended the day at a picnic area.  Tia laid on the table and picked animals and signs of Jesus from the sky.

What a cute little diva hiking partner.

And the moral of this story is that even though I'm old and heavy on my feet, I can survive a small hike through a beautiful Indiana State Park.  

Where to next weekend........?

Don't Judge Me...

...by the condition of my garage.

My 800 mile journey started with a 2,200 sq. foot house.

Loaded into a 27' U-Haul truck.

Unloaded into a 1,000 sq. foot apartment.  Thank goodness for that garage!

My intention for the past three months has been to clean my garage so that when the Indiana winter comes rolling in, I will have a place to park my car w/out scapping windows every morning. 

But I have found it much easier to shut the door and pretend that those nagging boxes do not exist. 

It is November in Indiana and it has been 70 degrees all week - very unusaul.  I have to believe that it is mother nature being kind to me and allowing one more chance to get that garage clean. 

So, I post this as motivation. 

There will be one winner and ONE winner only at the end of this weekend. 

Me or the boxes...

Stay tuned.

Ahoy Matey! Ahhhhrrrrrr!!

My beautiful daughter has dressed-up for Halloween as many characters over the course of her lifetime.  At ten months she was a lady bug - because that is her nick-name - Tia-Bug.  Then she has been Tweety, a bride, a ballerina, a fuzzy lady bug.  So many girly cute outfits. 

Imagine my surprise when this year she wanted to be THIS....

A rough and tumble, take no excusses, follow no ones lead...PIRATE!

But I must say that she made an ADORABLE pirate. 

I really didn't know where to take Tia trick-or-treating this years since we are new to town.  A lady a work with invited us to her house, to park in her driveway and walk her neighborhood.  We walked both sided of about 7 blocks.  Tia got so much candy she couldn't hardly carry her bag.  And I'm telling you...she got GOOD candy....Reeses, Butterfinger, Kit Kat, Snickers, M&Ms...all the goods!!!  And yes, she has been sharing and Mommy is happy about that.  But my thighs aren't.

Tia is already voting on her costume for next year.  She says a cheerleader.  We'll have to refer back here next year to see if she holds true.

Shiver Me Timbers!!!

School Pictures!

Okay, I admit it...I've been a terrible blogger lately.  I had two really tiresome weeks where I was missing Oklahoma A LOT!  The days are getting shorter and and the evenings longer.  It is getting cooler here and Tia and I haven't been spending as much time outside.  So that leaves a lot of time in the house looking at four walls and watching bad cable tv. 

So, I had a little talk with myself and remimded "me" that life is good.  I have an awesome kid and a comfortable home and a job that I enjoy and faith that blesses me on a daily basis. 

Then I opened Tia's backpack and look what I found!!!



First Grade - Mrs. Stevenson's Class

My child makes me happy every day.  I'm blessed and grateful and overjoyed that I have her.  I prayed for so long for her and all the time, God was just planning and making sure that I got the perfect child for me. 

So, I've probably gushed about my kid enough for everyone.  So I'll sign off for tonigh and try really hard to figure out how to get the halloween pictures off my iPhone and posted.  Too cute!